I still miss Joshua every day when he is at school. I suppose I have gotten used to it, to wondering what he is doing and who he is playing with, what books he is reading and hearing. Sometimes he shares a lot of vivid information from his day, which helps my imaginings.
But though I miss my big guy, though I sent him back to school
reluctantly, I embrace the one on one time with Sam, which is flying by now that there is less than a year of it left. Time for him to be the main squeeze, time for his words to bubble out uninterrupted, corrected or echoed. He LOVES to help me, to dump flour into the mixer bowl, to touch the elastic and smooth bread dough with a finger, to toss clothes into the washer and hand up clothespins to hang them to dry.The efficient side of me sometimes loses patience, sometimes forgets that I am a few fluttering calendar pages away from doing my day alone. My little helper will be about his own business, navigating the academic and social waters of kindergarten. He can't wait.
But I can. I can wait. I can answer a few more thousand questions. I can pause to get out the step stool and explain again what the yeast does, I can smile over the haphazardly set table and slow my steps to his. I can mark the passage of the day by snacktime, lunchtime, naptime. This Mommy will keep her little boy helper as long as she can.
4 comments:
You enjoy every moment. It is so fleeting. I never used to understand when people said it goes so fast until I lived it with my own.
"slow my steps to his. I can mark the passage of the day by snacktime, lunchtime, naptime."
i'm soaking in those lines. small but rich choices to make every day. and when i don't... thank God for the freedom in repentence so i don't have carry the burden of guilt! b/c that's what hurts the most, feeling like i missed it.
i can start anew the next moment to "slow my steps to his."
I love reading what you write, Missy. This is a great reminder and motivator for me.
Rachel-I missed "slow my steps to his. I can mark the passage of the day by snacktime, lunchtime, naptime." in my haste to read quickly. I too am drinking in those lines and will remember them today and many to come.
Missy, beautiful as always. Thank you for writing this. You might not know this but some children are naturally more helpful than others. My Citcat is not helpful at all. She does nothing for me with a cheerful heart. A friend and mother of four recently told me that two of her children are her helpers the other two are like Citcat. It was a relief to me to learn that perhaps I wasn't doing something wrong.
You are blessed to have a little helper. I'm hoping for one in the future.
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